Bucky’s Funeral

Dear fellow black squirrels: We are gathered here at Oak Lawn Cemetery on this beautiful Fall day to mourn the passing of one of our brothers - Bucky.

Although it is difficult to know with any certainty which one of us was killed, as we are all named Bucky, and we all look alike, I have it on good authority that it was one of us nonetheless.

One of Bucky’s friends confirmed Bucky’s demise, as well as the street where he was squashed by a UPS truck. There may he rest in peace…

It is regrettable in this age of the automobile that many black squirrels still perform the ‘Running across the street only to double-back and get squashed by a vehicle coming from the opposite direction’ maneuver. All of us should teach our children to run half way up a tree whenever a human or engine noise is heard.

Now let us all say a short prayer for Bucky before we all gather nuts.