Et Tu, Brute

Category: Newspaper article

I submitted this story to 'The Ottawa Citizen' on Tuesday Oct 27 2006
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Et Tu, Brute

I agree with the Ottawa Citizen’s editorial on Costas Efthimiou, a Florida physics professor who said that, according to the laws of mathematics and epidemiology, vampires and zombies couldn’t have existed. The professor evidently has never seen Canadians lining up for their Double-Doubles at Tim’s.

Costas Efthimiou! The name sounds kind of fishy. I wonder if he really exists. I did have a hefty miew once. That cat must have weighed 30 pounds. Costas a fortune in cat food.

The professor cites gotchas such as ‘If a vampire could walk through a wall then he would drop through the floor too’. Hokay…

Seriously, who are these people who want to put daggers in all our cherished lore. To paraphrase a classic line from Hamlet: ‘Efthimiou? Efhti?’.