King Korn

Category: Humour

In Iowa, there was a farmer by the name of Joey King. Joey and his wife Myrna ran the biggest corn farm in the county. The towering silos proudly displayed the name "King Korn".
Amongst her many chores Myrna tended a large garden patch where she grew first rate vegetables that she hoped to present at the local fair every fall.
After years at trying her hand at growing giant beets she had finally succeeded. Myrna however, was forever fretful that an unexpected frost would come down from the plains and damage her prized creations.
As word got around of Myrna’s upcoming offerings for the upcoming fall fair, a local newspaper columnist covering the agricultural beat called one day and asked if he could get a preview of the beet patch as a lead in for the upcoming contest. A meeting was setup and he came over the very next day.
After viewing Mrs. King’s exceptional creations Myrna and the newspaper columnist sat by the garden and chatted about the upcoming fair over some freshly brewed tea.
Soon Joey King showed up wiping a dirty rag over his hands and plunking himself in a chair after shaking hands with the reporter. The conversation soon changed from gardening, to farming, and then to the Iowa Cubs. In the meantime Myrna King took the opportunity to pull some dry sheets from the clotheslines all the while joining in the conversation.
As the afternoon wore on, and the consversation wound down, Mrs. King showed her guest to the door while Joey set about straightening out the back yard and bringing the tea set indoors. He looked up at the plains rising up behind their property, and considered for a moment covering the beet patch in case a frost came down overnight, but then decided that the evening was warm enough.
As he eyed the empty teapot standing on the serving tray by the garden, he decided on a whim to empty the dregs into his wife’s prized garden thinking that the added nutrients would do no harm.
The next day the newspaper columnist returned to the King household excusing himself and explaining that he might have dropped a prized gold pen in the yard. Mrs. King led the writer to the yard where they soon found the object gleaming in the morning sun.
Standing by the beet patch, a sheepish looking Joey, stood wringer his hands. Myrna approached the garden and to her horror saw that her prized beets had all shriveled up and died. "My God! What happened here? Was it a frost from the plains?" The reporter too looked in amazement.
Pen in hand, the newspaper columnist recorded what was to become the most infamous remark ever to echo from the farms of King Korn as Joey said: ‘No dear, it wasn't the plains. It was brewed tea that killed the beets.’


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Note: King Korn is a reference to the movie King Kong. The movie ends with Carl Denham talking to a police lieutenant and uttering the famous line ‘it wasn't the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast...