Car Alarm Responder Man

Category: Humour

Noam Chomsky considered by many to be the pre-eminent intellectual in the United States was talking about the ‘War On Terror’ in the context of Governments controlling people through fear.

Chomsky cited an example of manipulation through fear. He said that every night, in his Boston neighbourhood, someone’s car alarm goes off. Chomsky adds: ‘what are these people afraid of ?’ going on to suggest that car Alarm System companies market fear to entice people into installing overpriced alarm systems in their vehicles. Then Chomsky added ‘Nobody does anything about car alarms anyway, so what is the point?’


…and this is where Chomsky and I part…..


Well, nobody except CAR ALARM RESPONDER MAN that is.


Meet Carman (Car Alarm Responder Man) a mild mannered grocery clerk by day, he dons a super hero outfit at night, wandering Boston neighbourhoods waiting for tell-tale car alarms to go to the rescue.

WHAHH! WHEE! WHAHH! WHEE! WHAHH! WHEE! WHAHH! WHEE!


There’s one! Carman rushes to the rescue and spots the car. WHAHH! WHEE! ‘There’s no one here. Drat, the culprit has fled!’. Now Carman must find the cars owners and alert them that someone tried to break into their car. He rushes to the apartment building nearby.

Bang! Bang! Ding! Dong! Hello! Hello! Pressing on every button Carman shouts ‘Hello! Hello! Does anyone own a 2006 maroon Chevy Malibu license plate BR1272? Hello Anyone? Hello!’.

One bleary voiced tenant answers through the speaker ‘Is that you Carman?’. ‘Yes! It is. Someone’s car alarm went off. I’m trying to alert the owner!’. ‘It’s one thirty in the morning Carman!’. ‘Yes I know. Thank you. It’s no problem. That’s what I’m here for’ .

The car alarm shuts off. Carman rushes back outside.

Outside the building Carman sees all the lights in the building come on only to hear another car alarm sound off around the next corner. His job is done here. He’s off.

A small group gathers at the door. ‘What the hell?’ says one disheveled tenant. ‘Who’s the idiot’? ‘Oh! That Carman’ says one tenant shaking his head. ‘Don’t worry he’s off to save someone else now’.

Postscript

The next day, a proud but tired Carman, now back at the Grocery store, drops a bag of oranges upon hearing a car horn go off in the parking lot. He looks around. No-one sees his apprehension. His secret is safe. More importantly, the night is safe, thanks to…

Car Alarm Responder Man.