Oh! The Humanity (Frankie Amuck)

Category: Humour

The movie industry is moving away from using live actors and in some instances, as seems to be the case with the latest Superman, they are morphing a live actor into a character that can be sold on video games.

God must be looking down on this and thinking that he could have saved himself a lot of trouble and saved humanity much grief if he had created cartoon characters instead of these fragile complicated Human beings.

I can imagine God musing over Willy Coyote who steps into a cloud, thinking that he is still on dry land, only to plunge to the Mesa floor down below with a fading whistling sound and a final ‘Pfft!’ or God thinking about Daffy Duck who turns his beak around after having it shot off by Elmer Fudd’s shotgun then saying ‘Lettstry did again!’ In the end the Coyote and Daffy Duck are always good as knew.

In a cartoon world all victims of car accidents go Splat! They also peel their own faces off the windshield with a Spoing! There’s never any blood or broken bones.

...Wait! Something funny is happening.... As I write this story I can feel myself fading away. It looks like I have been erased and redrawn into a two dimensional figure. I look at my hands and I now have only four fingers. I look down at my body and it has been cut across from left to right and down the middle (Drawn and quartered! God’s little joke. I get it.) to my... ‘Yikes! THEY'RE gone!'

Now my computer mouse has grown eyes and ears and my cats has become a Halloween cat. His hair is standing straight up. His back is impossibly arched upwards. The mouse pulls its tail out of the computer and takes off. The cat gives chase.

I have to stop the cat before he wrecks the house. Now steam is coming out of my ears. Papers fly behind me as I chase after the cat. As I run, rugs curl up under my feet and pots and pans are strewn all over the place. Now a dog I never knew I had is chasing after the cat. The cat is now hanging from the ceiling. Rowf! Rowf! Ma-Rrrrow!. The mouse trembles and squeaks.

‘This could work’ – God is thinking. ‘Let’s try the DELETE key. Sproink! God leans back, hands behind his head, smiling.

That's all Folks!