Cold Wars

Category: Humour

I wonder what a meeting between people from a planet where people are smug about not getting colds, and people from a planet where people have perpetual colds would sound like.

For the sake of this story let us call these two fictitious planets NHAC (Never Had A Cold) and PTK (Pass The Kleenex).

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After years of aggression between these two planets a tentative truce is called and representatives from both planets meet on planet PTK.

Chairman (PTK) : Gentleben welcomb to the blanet Bass the Kleeneggs.

First speaker (PTK): Ib it drew that yourb beple hab neber had a code?

Second speaker (NHAC): Yes it’s true. Peble on our planet hab neber had a cold. Hee! Hee!

First speaker (PTK): Are you bocking be sir?

Second speaker (NHAC): Who be? bocking you? No not a doll. Hee! Hee!

First speaker (PTK): Bister Chairben boud you plebe adbise the spbeaker to resbeck brotocol.

Second speaker (NHAC): Mister Chairman. I was merely answering the spbeaker’s question. Hee! Hee!

Second Speaker (NHAC): feigning a gesture of concilition, but unable to restrain himself, says ‘Mister Chairman would you pass me the box of kleedex?’


Postscript: Light years away, an astronomer on Earth, having observed unusual flare-ups in a remote constellation over the past few weeks, calls a colleague over and says, “It looks like planets ‘NHAC’ and ‘PTK’ have blown each other up.