He’s Dead Jim!

Category: Humour

I used to love watching Star Trek with William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley and the rest of the crew. The show was formulaic which lent much of its appeal for me.

You could always expect Dr. McCoy to say ‘Dammit Jim I’m a doctor not a scientist/or a biologist/or a mechanic!’ or some such disclaimer.

You always knew that the beginning of a seductive soundtrack meant that Captain Kirk was about to romance a pretty lady.

In battle you always waited for Kirk’s smile as he wiped blood from his lip, (a move popularized by Bruce Lee) after being punched, then enter hand-to-hand combat with great glee.

My favorite was the appearance of an ensign wearing either a red or an orange long-sleeved T-Shirt that may as well have ‘Dead Man’ written on it. Invariably he was killed then McCoy (Bones) would say ‘He’s dead Jim’.

There was always a situation where Kirk had to be beamed back aboard the Starship Enterprise quickly due some imminent danger ‘Mister Scott beam me up’. Then Mister Scott would invariably reply ‘Captain I can nay go any faster! The Dilithium crystals can nay take much more!’. To which a visibly sweaty Kirk would reply ‘Mister Scott I suggest you beam me up now!’

I also loved how, when the crew was in battle, the men standing up would be thrown first to the left and then to the right across the bridge and those sitting down would tilt their torsos to the left then to the right as photon torpedoes exploded near the ship (always near - never hitting the ship).

At some point in the show Spock would rid himself of his captor by saying something like 'Pardon me but you have a multi-legged creature on your shoulder!' When the happless guard looked down at his shoulder Spock would administer the Vulcan nerve pinch.

On Star Trek all alien forms spoke English without the aid of a babelfish (that extremely useful tool used in ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy’).

Also the environment on the planets they beamed down to was invariably oxygen rich. Despite this, while examining a stange life form, Bones would invariably say 'It's life Jim, but not as we know it'.

Gotta love it. Beam me up Scotty!