Elementary Watson!

Category: Humour

Where physics meets what’s on television

Periodic Table of Television Elements

Element - Properties
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Tvon - Primal element and a necessary to the creation of all other elements. Oddly enough Tvon - unlike Masson (see Masson below) - has no mass.

Boron - An element that just spins around and around. Boring!

NFLon - Element known for passing an oblong shaped particle between two ends of a field.

Golfon - Just below boron in the periodic table.

Masson - Sometimes referred to as Jesuson. Can sometimes be interpreted as either Golfon or Boron.

Jesuson - See Masson above.

Getiton - One of the least talked about elements, it is usually observed in the dark and can be found higher up in the list of elements.

Hadron (No. I said Hadron) - Usually created as a result of exposure to Getiton.

Parentalcontrolon - Like Tvnoton (see below) this is a rare element and is usually invoked in conjunction with Getiton.

Wackion - Reason for existence of Parentalcontrolon (see Getiton and Hadron above).

Ohissheon - Usually a created as a result of exposure to Grammy waves. Ephemeral in nature and has a short lifespan.

Ohisheon - See Ohissheon.

Sameshiton - Mimics other elements. Like Getiton can be found higher up in the periodic list.

Whatson - See Sameshiton.

Newshiton - See Turkeyson (below).

Hon - Usually comes in pairs and highly interactive with other elements

Trydison - Not really an element. More an aggravating quark of one Hon during NFLon. Usually met with Notnowhon (See also Amifathon).

Notnowhon - See Trydison.

Adon - The appropriate place for appearance of Trydison.

Amifaton - Unstable element usually avoided and sometimes resulting in Couchon.

Couchon - See Amifaton and NFLon.

Turkeyson - Usually only seen during Thanksgiving and Newshiton.

Tvnoton - Rare. Theoretical element thought to exist as natural offshoot of Tvon.